Royals

(Thanks for sticking with us here at Ball Star. I'll have some Chiefs and/or Big 12 football thoughts on UFR soon, but wanted to get this up first.)

There are any number of ways to point out just how bad the Royals are. Their season was disappointing enough that everyone's performance can be criticized*, everyone's security questioned.

* Zack Greinke, Billy Butler, David DeJesus and Joakim Soria are the exceptions. And Alberto Callaspo's hitting.

(Some changes are coming to this blog, with the merciful end of the Royals season. We'll have an explanation later today or early tomorrow. You won't be rid of my bad humor and rambling blog posts, it'll just be different, and, well, check back later today or tomorrow. In the meantime, (at least) one more Royals thought. Also, this link has nothing to do with the Royals or baseball, but if you're a man, you will be jealous of John Madden.)

CC Sabathia starts for the Yankees tonight, Zack Greinke for the Royals tomorrow, and Felix Hernandez for the Mariners on Sunday.

At this point, Sabathia and Hernandez could each throw perfect games, and anything short of Zack missing the team bus won't keep him from winning the Cy Young Award and, probably, winning it by a bunch.

Originally, this was going to be a post about the 10 things that needed to happen for Zack to not win the Cy, but I got stuck after this:

Billy Butler comes from a family of cowboy boots and southern accents. His father is a self-described redneck. There is an image building in your head right now. It's incomplete.

Billy Butler also likes to read James Patterson. Did you know that? He's a bit of an amateur baseball historian, and that "redneck" father of his is actually an engineer who at one time was manager of an international missile project.

The beauty, of course, is that the line is unrehearsed. Has to be.

Because if Zack Greinke gave any thought to what questions the New York reporters would ask and how he would answer them, it would go against the M.O. he's established since arriving in Kansas City five years ago.

"I don't want to pitch for New York in the playoffs," he told the people there. "I want to pitch for Kansas City in the playoffs."

The Royals lost at Yankee Stadium last night, Luke Hochevar getting bombed in another big inning, which brings the thought that on the list of players who should be happy they don't play in New York, Hochevar is at the top.

This time the ax fell in the sixth, when Hoch didn't retire any of the five batters he faced, a grand slam by Robinson Cano punctuating what's become a trademark killer inning from Hoch.

(UPDATE: the Royals are printing stickers to put over the error before the giveaway Saturday night)

The above picture is the side of the box of the George Brett figurine the Royals are giving out at Saturday's game.

Brett, in case you've forgotten, never played second base in his 21-year career.

Also, Mark Teahen is now driving a camouflage Hummer around town, but he wants to make it clear that it's not his.

Here's an idea, but before we get started, something should be made clear: this won't happen.

Zero chance.

For reasons that we all probably understand.

But still...

The Royals should push Zack Greinke's next start back one day, to Monday, at Yankee Stadium against the best lineup money can buy.

Seriously.

Sunday's game will be played in front of a small crowd with lots of dogs and no television audience. Monday's game will be played in front of a packed Yankee Stadium with lots of sluggers and the attention of the nation's biggest market.

Maybe we should just keep this post and update it. The ways to express Zack Greinke's brilliance this season just go on and on and on.

Before this afternoon, my favorite was that Indians manager Eric Wedge called Greinke's 15-strikeout performance against Cleveland the best outing he'd ever seen in the big leagues, missing the fact that it's no better than the fifth-best outing Zack's had THIS YEAR.

Some thoughts on Luke Hochevar while hoping the Royals and Chiefs don't start some Truman Sports Complex turf war over the K-Crew.

Hochevar turned 26 last week. He's older than Zack Greinke and Joakim Soria, older than Cole Hamels, Felix Hernandez, Matt Cain, Josh Johnson and a whole other host of guys making impacts in the major leagues.

Well, it's just hard to make an argument for anybody but Zack Greinke winning the AL Cy Young Award now. Hard to do while staying true to the facts, anyway.

The stats are easy enough to look up, and they make an air-tight case on their own: first in ERA (2.08)*, WHIP (1.06), shutouts (three), batting average against (.228), on-base percentage against (.272) and OPS against (.608)**; second in strikeouts (229), strikeouts per walks (4.87), quality starts and complete games (six); and, of course, dead last in run support (4.72) while pitching in front of the league's second-worst defense (the White Sox have one more error, and recently nudged below the Royals by 0.1 in UZR) and worst bullpen.

Can't do last night's Royals justice here. The Royals' win expectancy as charted by FanGraphs gave the Royals less than a 5 percent chance of winning into the fifth inning.

My only thought, before we get on with it here: can you imagine what this town would be like if the Royals were contending and won a game like that?