This little exercise may seem silly. But maybe if we can put together a list of what's broken with the Royals, it can help organize thoughts about how to fix it.
I put these in a rough order, but only very rough. Nos. 1-5 will post this afternoon, around 2 p.m.
6. Gil Meche's back. Biggest single reason he slumped for 1-4 and a 6.43 ERA in a block of six starts from April 28 to May 25. The Royals were 1-5 in those starts, no way to live for a team like the Royals with their opening day starter on the mound.
7. David DeJesus' bat. With some inconsistencies, his defense in left field has been pretty good. But he's in danger of having one of the worst offensive seasons of his career, batting .245/.295/.408. The Royals believe he hits better when playing left field, which makes his body fresher, but they may have to rethink that after Alex Gordon returns and Mark Teahen needs a place to play again.
8. Jose Guillen. He's OBPing .353, which is terrific, especially for him, but his defense in right field is atrocious, and he has just 14 extra base hits, a pace of around 30 for the season, or, around half of what he did last year.
9. Trey Hillman. Now, please, don't get me wrong. I don't think he's doing a particularly bad job. I don't think he should be fired. I actually think, in some ways, he's learned some valuable lessons from last year's struggles. But his sensitivity is starting to come through a bit, there are small feelings similar to the ones that eventually grew and divided the clubhouse last year, and the BFF chats with Tony LaRussa over the weekend -- particularly the one IN the Cardinals' dugout -- were a bit strange. He's working with a lot of disadvantages. But at the very least, he hasn't figured out a way to help the Royals overcome them.
10. Defense. You've probably read enough already here about the defense. The Royals made nine errors over a recent four-game stretch, and since we all know that errors are an incredibly flawed statistic, it's better to know that they rank 27th in UZR (-17.5) and 20th in RF/G (2.8). If you don't understand the ins and outs of those statistics, don't worry about it. Just know it's bad. This has to be especially frustrating for Trey, who, honestly, focuses and works on defense and fundamentals more than just about any big league manager you'll find.
OK, well, that's my list, at least for now as I sit at the breakfast table. Please feel free to add more in the comments, take issue with any of the above, or suggest something less depressing that I could write about on this blog in the next few days. I still haven't seen The Hangover...
I'm surely not the first person to observe how similar we obsessed Royals fans are to those poor unfortunates suffering from battered spouse syndrome.
Like the abused spouse who keeps coming back for more, I am all too eagerly persuaded to believe that this year things will be different.
And as disappointed as I am in the current state of affairs, especially given their great start to the season, there is still something weirdly comforting in all the spectacular defeats. I mean let's face it: Nobody can lose games like the Kansas City Royals. And when the game is over by the third inning, I can actually relax, secure in the knowledge that I am rooting for a team that has little chance for a winning season.
One coping mechanism I have developed might be helpful to my fellow sufferers. As radio listeners know, Sonic sponsors a sixth inning $25K "Grand Slam" contest. As explained by the announcers, "if the Royals hit a grand slam out of the park..." Especially ironic when the Royals, as usual, have three hits (all singles) going into the sixth, and are down five zip.
Well, I like to try and come up with my own clever lines to finish the "if the Royals hit a grand slam out of the park..." promo, which I think would make a great contest for the BallStar blog.
For example, "if the Royals hit a grand slam out of the park..." - immediately re-stock your Y2K fallout shelter, as armageddon cannot be far behind.
BallStar could provide the lucky fan who comes up with the most clever lines and wins the contest two tickets to a Royals game. Or a coupon worth fifty cents off their next visit to Sonic - whichever they prefer.
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