So here comes Kila Kaaihue, or, as he could be known, "Royals Cyberspace's New Justin Huber."
Guy has a remarkable story, from 15th-round draft pick, stuck for parts of three consecutive seasons at Class AA, a career .252 hitter who just had a Roy Hobbs kind of breakout minor league season.
You're reading this online, which means you might have these numbers memorized by now, but between 91 games at Class AA Northwest Arkansas and 33 at Class AAA Omaha, Kaaihue hit .314/.456/.628 with 37 homers, 100 RBIs, and, this is the part that always turns heads, 104 walks with 67 strikeouts.
And because of the times we live in, you should also know that Kaaihue has passed at least two, and maybe three, drug tests this season.
Royals decision makers had been hesitant to call up Kaaihue, seeing an already clogged-up situation at 1B with Ryan Shealy coming up.
The conventional wisdom is that you don't just call guys up for them to take up space in the clubhouse and batting cage.
So either the Royals think they have a way to get Kaaihue some at bats, or they decided that they'd have to add him to the 40-man roster this winter anyway, so why not reward the guy for having one of the best minor league seasons in baseball this year?
There's a theory that when it comes time to signing minor league free agents, it helps if you have a track record of promoting guys.
Anyway, whatever the thinking was to get Kaaihue in Kansas City, he's here now so the question becomes what to do with him.
I get why a big league manager working with the Royals' roster would give a lot of plate appearances to Gload. He's steady, he's good defensively (but not Mark Grace like I think some people think he is), and won't make stupid mistakes.
He is limited only by talent, not by his mind. You know what you're getting from Gload.
If you're managing this roster, there's something to be said for all those things.
He's also 32, and well past his previous career highs in games played and plate appearances.
And because you know exactly what you're getting with him, there's no need to continue not learning anything the rest of this lost season.
The Royals have 26 games left this season. Figure four plate appearances a game, and that's 104 times up for your 1B and 104 times up for your DH.
Might as well start now in seeing what you have with Ryan Shealy, who was good (.283/.376/.503 with 22 homers and 65 RBIs) if not spectacular this season in Omaha.
The scouts say his bat is slow, and they've always said that, but give the guy a shot. Dayton Moore once traded two big league pitchers for Shealy, who is now 29 years old, so there's an investment here to make sure what you've got.
Kaaihue is 24, and a different situation, at least from my eyes. You know he'll be around next year, no doubt about it.
There might be some value in babying him along a little, to feed him mostly right-handed pitchers (his splits were drastically slanted towards right-handed pitching in Arkansas, but then actually hit lefties a little better in Omaha) and keep his confidence up.
If you've got 208 plate appearances between 1B and DH, maybe you give 75-85 to Butler, 45-55 to Shealy, 35-45 to Kaaihue, and split the rest between Gload and if Jose Guillen or another position player needs a day at DH.
However this breaks down, there will be some Royals fans unhappy. Trey Hillman's had some difficult calls to make this first year as big league manager, and here's another one.
Because no matter how you want these plate appearances divided up, Hillman's also got to think about wins and losses.
The Royals are building toward the future, but you never want to totally sacrifice wins and losses in the present to the point that you might as well turn the scoreboard off.
Royals are playing .419 ball right now, which translates to a 68-win season. That would be a one-game drop from last year, but even that projection might be a bit optimistic since the Royals are coming off their worst month (7-20 in August) in years.
If the team looks like a threat to lose 95 or 97 or certainly 100 games, the development plan gets scrapped and it becomes about avoiding shame.
The Chiefs will likely be terrible, but the last month of this baseball season, with the Royals playing in a sectioned-off construction zone, will test those of you who say you're baseball-first even during college and NFL football seasons.


How can you think about avoiding shame over the development of this team? This team is past the point where avoiding shame is relevant. Does it matter to you or anyone else that reads your blog that we win 95 instead of 98 or 100? Last place and bad is the way it is regardless of how many games we end up losing. Why is that so hard to understand? Why would you think about a couple more wins at this point over the development of the team?