(NOTE: sorry for the slight delay, but this one took a little more research than usual. Hopefully it's worth it.)
The Royals are not a good offensive team. We all know this. And it doesn't take a thing away from Jon Lester's no-hitter last night. It's just a fact.
The thing about no-hitters, nobody seems to remember or talk about who they were thrown against. They just remember the pitcher, and that's probably the way it should be.
Nationally, this will be remembered for Jon Lester, the cancer survivor, one of the guys the Red Sox refused to trade for Johan Santana.
But Royals fans will no doubt look at this with some shame, the night their offense couldn't even manage a hit.
No-hitters are hard to explain. The last batter for the Royals, Alberto Callaspo, swung at a fastball way out of the zone, which he hardly ever does. It was just his fourth strikeout this season, and his 24th in 244 major league at bats.
Again, the Royals offense is struggling, and probably will most of this season. But to be no-hit? Mark Grudzielanek is second in the American League in hitting. Jose Guillen is hitting around .500 the last week or so. Alex Gordon is coming around. Billy Butler hits line drives. David DeJesus is a tough out. And on.
Not to be Danny Downer here, but it's a little surprising the Royals hadn't been no-hit before (I'm talking recently, I know Nolan Ryan got 'em in 1973). Buddy Bell tempted fate quite often with some of the most prime-for-no-hit lineups in recent baseball history.
In Bell's defense, he wasn't exactly benching Hank Aaron, but this all got me thinking about some of the worst lineups in recent Royals history that, you know, did get a hit or three.
Which one's the worst?
The candidates:
July 4, 2004 against San Diego
Jose Bautista, 3b
Tony Graffanino, 2b
Ken Harvey, 1b
Ruben Mateo, cf
Angel Berroa, ss
Dee Brown, lf
Desi Relaford, rf
John Buck, c
Pitcher
On the list because: Ruben Mateo, he of the career .386 slugging percentage and 21 home runs in 876 at bats, hits cleanup. Actually, I'm not even sure there's enough space on the internet to get into why this lineup is so bad.
Result: six hits, and one run in the top of the ninth to pull within 7-1. David Wells, Blaine Neal and Ricky Stone needed a combined 99 pitches to get through nine innings. Using similar lineups, the Royals then go to Minnesota and don't score for three straight games. Damian Jackson DHed one of those games.
May 15, 2005, against Tampa Bay.
Angel Berroa, ss
David DeJesus, cf
Tony Graffanino, 1b
Emil Brown, rf
Matt Diaz, dh
Terrence Long, lf
Alberto Castillo, c
Mark Teahen, 3b
Joe McEwing, 2b
On the list because: the leadoff hitter had a .305 OBP that year, the No. 3 hitter had three homers, Matt Diaz DHed, and Alberto Castillo played.
Result: nine hits, four runs, against Mark Hendrickson and Seth McClung. Royals actually won this one, 4-3.
June 8, 2005, against San Francisco
Angel Berroa, ss
David DeJesus, cf
Tony Graffanino, 1b
Emil Brown, rf
Matt Diaz, lf
Mark Teahen, 3b
Ruben Gotay, 2b
Alberto Castillo, c
Pitcher
On the list because: similar lineup to the one above, but with the added bonus of including Ruben Gotay (.227/.288/.344) and the pitcher, who happened to be Runelvys Hernandez, a career oh-for-five hitter.
Result: nine hits, four runs against the gauntlet of Jeff Fassero, Scott Munter, Jason Christiansen, LaTroy Hawkins, and Scott Eyre. Royals won this one, too, 4-1, so maybe this lineup is the answer.
April 13, 2006, against the Yankees
Tony Graffanino, dh
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b
Emil Brown, lf
Reggie Sanders, rf
Angel Berroa, ss
John Buck, c
Doug Mientkiewicz, 1b
Esteban German, 3b
Shane Costa, cf
On the list because: Angel Berroa is hitting fifth in a season so bad (.234/.259/.333) it convinces the Royals he's no longer a major league ballplaer. It also has Graffanino as the DH.
Result: 10 hits and three runs, against Randy Johnson, Scott Proctor, Mike Myers, Tanyon Sturtze, and Ron Villone. Lost 9-3.
May 7, 2006, against the White Sox
Esteban German, 3b
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b
Tony Graffanino, 1b
Emil Brown, lf
Angel Berroa, ss
Aaron Guiel, rf
John Buck, c
Justin Huber, dh
Kerry Robinson, cf
On the list because: now we're getting into some real suckiness. How about a heart of the order of Graffanino-Emil-Berroa? And then you protect them with Aaron Guiel.
As an added bonus, was this the game that Robinson climbed the center field wall for a ball that bounced on the warning track?
Result: eight hits and two runs, against Mark Buehrle, Cliff Politte, Matt Thornton, Brandon McCarthy, and Bobby Jenks. Lost 3-2.
June 9, 2007, against the Phillies
David DeJesus, cf
Mark Grudzielanek, 2b
Mark Teahen, rf
Shane Costa, dh
Alex Gordon, 3b
John Buck, c
Ryan Shealy, 1b
Tony Pena, ss
Joey Gathright, lf
On the list because: Shane Costa is not only DHing, but batting cleanup. You had Ryan Shealy (.221/.286/.308) and Tony Pena (.267/.284/.356) hitting back-to-back.
Alex Gordon entered this game hitting .187, though this was right around the time he got going.
Gil Meche ran into some bad luck with run support last year, but he started this game and it's no accident he didn't get any runs.
Result: three hits, no runs, and 11 strikeouts, against Jon Lieber.
This is really the king of the bad lineups of the last few years, I think, and here might be the best argument: Lieber pitched a complete game three-hit shutout. He'd given up 10 runs in his previous two starts, and would give up 13 more in his next two before his season ended with an injury.
Those are some bad lineups Sam. I can't take it anymore. Had to cancel my mlb.tv subscription. It's time for a major shakedown. Dayton & Trey should make a statement that losing won't be tolerated anymore. Maier & Aviles are off to great starts in Omaha....would like to see what they can do. I'd pay to see this lineup:
LF Mitch Maier
2B Grudz
3B Gordon
DH Bonds
C Olivo
SS Mike Aviles
CF DeJesus
RF Guillen
1B Butler
I wonder if Bonds would sign a 1-month deal?